As I sit here, waiting for the hours to pass by before the first day back in classes, I read the past entries here and there. Remembering the bittersweet times of old in Germany, trying very hard to recall the feelings, memories, stimulating scents, and overall European chic that nourished my exchange year.
Since being back home, I have finished a semester of college and am now entering my second. I have had ups and downs in the last six months of being back in Canada. Basking in the joys of volunteering at the kids program at the church, singing with the Christmas Choir, learning such interesting things in Geography, and attempting to master Spanish! Among other things, difficulties adjusting to family routines, struggling with social issues (even though it SHOULD be easier - we are speaking the same language - but funny how communication is so key and yet so delicate, even when mastering your native language.), and just being exhausted, trying to find direction in life. God has been ever so faithful in everything - and I have given Him, I am sure, a fair share of gray hairs (if God would have gray hairs) from all the temper-tantrums and melt downs within the last couple months. Nevertheless, I am determined to take all these precious things I have learned in the last year and use them to the best of my ability. I often try to recall the lessons that I have learned - they have become more fainter than ever, the memories of even ever being in Germany. It's quite surreal, the memories seeming vastly like dreams and not like memories at all, but a movie, seen through my eyes. Often I forget my year, I forget the lessons I learned, the person I have become. I very much feel as if I have taken steps backwards. Depressing as that sounds, I know in my heart that that is not true. Life indeed goes on - and so shall I. Reading the blog just now - rekindles my heart and motivation to keep searching for that purpose which I was made for and to put to use those lessons that I indeed did learn.
My German is getting worse and worse every day, I believe, and my memories ever fainter. However, in the midst of my German self slipping away, I have been encouraged by the few, but steadfast friends who send me postcards, emails, and facebook messages. They truly bring such a smile upon my face and I am ever so grateful for them!
Thank you to all whom love me so dearly - you have been such a blessing and an encouragement to my life. Praise God for His unending love!
I am determined upon entering this new semester and year, to reclaim the valuable courage and determination, the confidence and life-experience which gave me such strength this past year. Sometimes I forget all too often, that the exchange year does not end with the coming home - a large part of the exchange IS the coming home and being home too. SO! Let this new year bring on the challenges and difficulties, the rocks to break and the mountains to climb. May I march forth with valor and humble conviction. For, as my dear friend William Wallace proclaims; "Every man dies. Not every man really lives." And really live shall I live indeed! For I can do all things through Christ who gives me strength (Phil 4.13).
SO! Thank you to everyone who has encouraged me in this unending journey of challenges and faith (especially to Jade whom I am eternally grateful for and blessed by) and thank you to God for giving me His unconditional love (though I mess up again and again).
k
p.s. And thank you to Mel Gibson, for making really great and epic movies!
Sunday, January 3, 2010
Monday, September 14, 2009
Settling in
Sorry I didn't write in the last few months. Things have been a bit crazy, and I have gotten out of the habit of blogging. :P I have been settling in rather well...things seem to have been a bit tricky, just getting back into routine and finding my way back into Canadian life. Its definitely been and continues to be a challenge. I am hopeful though, that somehow, God will pull me through and help me to become the woman of God He intends for me to be. :) And for that I am very excited!
I have helped with IPE parking the other weekend and that was great! I am glad to be back into the Club here, and am very grateful to see Rotary in the better light that it should be! :) I have already been to the rebound weekend and that was nice to have the full circle orientation. :) I have also met the new exchange student from Denmark! :) School has had its kickoff already and I am thrusting myself into classes. It is definitely a little strange and confusing and a little stressful, but I am hoping that within the next couple weeks things will be running a bit more smoothly. :) Church has been a blessing, I am getting more involved and meeting more people. It is nice. It is almost starting to feel like more of a home now. :)
The days are getting shorter and a little colder evenings, and the leaves are already turning colours. It is a rather sad, but growing time. I am looking forward to a Canadian winter, but even more anxious to see the spring again! And then summer! I love the changes in the season, representing new seasons of life and the promise of spring! I am awaiting new people, new challenges, new realizations, and just growth in general. Thanks be to God for putting all these blessings and people into my life.
Soon, now, I realize that the foreign home, will not feel so foreign anymore. Thank you, God for being the all of my life! :)
K
I have helped with IPE parking the other weekend and that was great! I am glad to be back into the Club here, and am very grateful to see Rotary in the better light that it should be! :) I have already been to the rebound weekend and that was nice to have the full circle orientation. :) I have also met the new exchange student from Denmark! :) School has had its kickoff already and I am thrusting myself into classes. It is definitely a little strange and confusing and a little stressful, but I am hoping that within the next couple weeks things will be running a bit more smoothly. :) Church has been a blessing, I am getting more involved and meeting more people. It is nice. It is almost starting to feel like more of a home now. :)
The days are getting shorter and a little colder evenings, and the leaves are already turning colours. It is a rather sad, but growing time. I am looking forward to a Canadian winter, but even more anxious to see the spring again! And then summer! I love the changes in the season, representing new seasons of life and the promise of spring! I am awaiting new people, new challenges, new realizations, and just growth in general. Thanks be to God for putting all these blessings and people into my life.
Soon, now, I realize that the foreign home, will not feel so foreign anymore. Thank you, God for being the all of my life! :)
K
Monday, July 6, 2009
Two Weeks Left
Wow!! The last week I was really thinking about this year. It hit me how close I am to being back at home. Now, I am going to be there in two weeks. It always seemed so far off. Now back from Europe tour and with only a couple weeks to go, I believe I have been really living it out like I would have liked to for the whole year since the beginning; being able to speak German fluently enough to express myself and be understood, having a couple of close friends, being involved regularly in dance, youth group and host family, and being in general, happy. :)
Things have changed quite suddenly, knowing that I am going home soon. I have spoken with more people about things other than where I come from, how long I have until I go home, how long I have been here, weather or not we have fruit in Canada, where I have traveled in Europe and who I am currently living with. I have realized the importance and the pressure that is now on to see other exchange students as much as possible and to have those more deeper conversations with the friends that I have made here.
This year has not been a smooth ride, nor has it been a totally horrible one either. I have made the best of it as I could, while going along each problem. Sure there are tonnes of other things that I could have done to make the situations better and have better outcomes, but with that said, I do believe that tried my best and that's what is most important. :)
Thinking back on a lot of things, I feel like my exchange year was in many ways a failure - I have not had the greatest relationship with my host rotary club or my host families, I have not made friends in school or done many community activities, I did not participate in school to the extent that I tought I would have, and I have not learned perfect German. HOWEVER! I have learned many, many things during this year which I could not have learnt otherwise! :) I have indeed learned the German that I can now speak. It is not perfect, but I am able to express myself and have myself be understood by everyone around me. I have learned to deal with difficult people and rumours. I have learned to have a positive atittude, even if it didnt accure to me right away. I have learned to forgive and tolerate people. I have become more appreciative of my own language and am just head-over-heels happy that I can actually TALK English! :P Any among many many other things, I have learned to appreciate everything I have, in Canada and in Germany. :)
I know that I could have done many a things to make my year a better exchange year, and I would do so, haven given another chance, however, I believe for the deep, life changing lessons, I believe that my exchange has hit the hammer on the nail.
I know that things will be different when I come back home, having experienced all I have..and it is very difficult for me to imagine how it will look like.. But, I believe I am ready to take on the next part of my exchange and life with a confident face and a straight step, knowing that anything can happen, and that I want to and will work through the hard times, even if I am discouraged, struck down, or alone.
Rotary, specifically Armstrong Club and district 5060, has given me this opportunity, and I am thankful beyond words can express. I truly believe in this program and am thankful that there is such a program as this youth exchange program. :) It has really changed my life for the good - even (and for the most part) through the hard times. :) I would never want anyone to go through hard times on their exchange, but as it is, they DO occure. And as much as I would never wish such difficult times upon anyone, I DO wish that they would have an opportunity to grow such as I did. And sometimes, going through hard times is the only way to accomplish that.
So, in closing, I am in Hamburg right now, enjoying the company of my mother's friend from highschool for the last time. I will be back in Mögglingen in about three days. From then it is only a week and a bit that I will be in Germany. As much as I wanted to go home the last couple weeks back, now I am second guessing my thoughts, as my year in Germany has also become a very large part of my life. I can not, right now, imagine how it will be when I go back to Canada and leave Germany... for a very long time, maybe for ever, I don't know. It has, although, been a wonderful adventure, in hindsight, and I would not have done anything else with my life this year, haven given the choice. :) I would pick an exchange year, any time, any place, anyhow. :)
Many thanks to my helpful family, the Armstrong Rotary Club, Rotary District 5060, the Kienzles, and all the helpful and friendly people that I have met on my exchange, before, during, and now after! You all mean so much to me!!! :P Thank you also to my hosting district and Rotary club for enabling me to learn from hard stumbling blocks. I am forever greatful.
See you on the other side.
k
Hebrews 10:36
Things have changed quite suddenly, knowing that I am going home soon. I have spoken with more people about things other than where I come from, how long I have until I go home, how long I have been here, weather or not we have fruit in Canada, where I have traveled in Europe and who I am currently living with. I have realized the importance and the pressure that is now on to see other exchange students as much as possible and to have those more deeper conversations with the friends that I have made here.
This year has not been a smooth ride, nor has it been a totally horrible one either. I have made the best of it as I could, while going along each problem. Sure there are tonnes of other things that I could have done to make the situations better and have better outcomes, but with that said, I do believe that tried my best and that's what is most important. :)
Thinking back on a lot of things, I feel like my exchange year was in many ways a failure - I have not had the greatest relationship with my host rotary club or my host families, I have not made friends in school or done many community activities, I did not participate in school to the extent that I tought I would have, and I have not learned perfect German. HOWEVER! I have learned many, many things during this year which I could not have learnt otherwise! :) I have indeed learned the German that I can now speak. It is not perfect, but I am able to express myself and have myself be understood by everyone around me. I have learned to deal with difficult people and rumours. I have learned to have a positive atittude, even if it didnt accure to me right away. I have learned to forgive and tolerate people. I have become more appreciative of my own language and am just head-over-heels happy that I can actually TALK English! :P Any among many many other things, I have learned to appreciate everything I have, in Canada and in Germany. :)
I know that I could have done many a things to make my year a better exchange year, and I would do so, haven given another chance, however, I believe for the deep, life changing lessons, I believe that my exchange has hit the hammer on the nail.
I know that things will be different when I come back home, having experienced all I have..and it is very difficult for me to imagine how it will look like.. But, I believe I am ready to take on the next part of my exchange and life with a confident face and a straight step, knowing that anything can happen, and that I want to and will work through the hard times, even if I am discouraged, struck down, or alone.
Rotary, specifically Armstrong Club and district 5060, has given me this opportunity, and I am thankful beyond words can express. I truly believe in this program and am thankful that there is such a program as this youth exchange program. :) It has really changed my life for the good - even (and for the most part) through the hard times. :) I would never want anyone to go through hard times on their exchange, but as it is, they DO occure. And as much as I would never wish such difficult times upon anyone, I DO wish that they would have an opportunity to grow such as I did. And sometimes, going through hard times is the only way to accomplish that.
So, in closing, I am in Hamburg right now, enjoying the company of my mother's friend from highschool for the last time. I will be back in Mögglingen in about three days. From then it is only a week and a bit that I will be in Germany. As much as I wanted to go home the last couple weeks back, now I am second guessing my thoughts, as my year in Germany has also become a very large part of my life. I can not, right now, imagine how it will be when I go back to Canada and leave Germany... for a very long time, maybe for ever, I don't know. It has, although, been a wonderful adventure, in hindsight, and I would not have done anything else with my life this year, haven given the choice. :) I would pick an exchange year, any time, any place, anyhow. :)
Many thanks to my helpful family, the Armstrong Rotary Club, Rotary District 5060, the Kienzles, and all the helpful and friendly people that I have met on my exchange, before, during, and now after! You all mean so much to me!!! :P Thank you also to my hosting district and Rotary club for enabling me to learn from hard stumbling blocks. I am forever greatful.
See you on the other side.
k
Hebrews 10:36
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